


A drunk confession

by destielsuperwholockbandhoorah



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Destiel - Freeform, dean gets drunk and says stuff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-01
Updated: 2015-01-01
Packaged: 2018-03-04 16:10:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3074012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/destielsuperwholockbandhoorah/pseuds/destielsuperwholockbandhoorah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cas doesn't know why Dean is calling him like this, but Dean sure has a lot to say.  Cas just hopes his best friend knows what he's saying.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A drunk confession

**Author's Note:**

> Credit for prompt to my good friend bennycumbercutie! Thanks friend you rock!

Cas looked down at his ringing phone with confusion. Only Dean called him, and he knew Dean was at that party he had been talking about. He had wanted Cas to come too, but Cas had refused. Being around too many people made him uncomfortable, he wasn’t good at it like his best friend. So Dean had shrugged with an exasperated and slightly disappointed sigh and went off to the party without Cas.

And right now, Cas was trying to fall asleep. And his phone was ringing. Cas sat up with a sigh and grabbed the phone from his bedside table. He looked at the caller ID for a moment. It was Dean, but what…

“Hello?” Cas said into the phone. He was immediately barraged with a loud assortment of sounds. It sounded like the party was still going on and Dean was calling him from it.

“Cas!” Dean’s voice came through too loudly, and he sounded a little off.

“Dean? What’s wrong? Aren’t you at the party?” Cas asked, shifting in his bed to sit up and turning the light on.

“Yep,” Dean declared, and then there was a scuffling and a thud and muffled cursing and after a moment Dean was back. “Dropped m’ phone.”

“Why are you calling me then?” Cas asked, speaking loudly over the din in the background of where Dean was, and ignoring the slightly odd interruption. Dean wasn’t normally clumsy like that.

“Why?!” Dean asked incredulously, and then laughed. Cas began to understand he was very drunk. Great, this was a drunk dial. Just what he needed at midnight on a Saturday. Dean continued, “I had to call you Cas, you know. I had to tell you,” Dean hiccupped, “had to tell ya how much I love ya!”

Cas sighed and felt a spike of sadness in his heart. Dean must not realize what those words meant to Cas. Dean was his best friend, his amazing gorgeous wonderful kind best friend. With no interest in Cas, of course. Why would he? Sure they were best friends, but Cas knew he was plain and a bit boring. He didn’t even go to parties like Dean did. “No, you don’t Dean.” Cas sighed again. His totally amazing best friend who Cas was probably totally in love with. “Dean are you alright? Do you need me to come get you and take you home?”

Dean had made an indignant sort of squawk when Cas had said Dean didn’t love him, but at Cas’s next words he giggled. “You wanna take me home, Cas? Didn’t know you moved so fast.” He hiccupped again and must have run into something as there was another thud and a few curses.

“Don’t be an idiot, Dean,” Cas scolded his very drunk friend, and started to get out of bed. He pulled on some jeans and slipped on a pair of shoes, knowing he was going to get Dean, whatever he said. If Dean was calling him to confess some nonexistent love, he was really drunk, and Cas knew he had to go home.

“M’ not an idiot,” Dean said sulkily. And then he sounded serious for a moment, almost sober. “I love ya Cas, s’not a lie. Always have. You and your big stupid blue eyes and your hair and you pretty fingers…” he trailed off with a hiccup that might have been a sob. Dean was an unpredictable drunk, and at the end he had sounded more and more upset.

“Dean,” Cas said desperately, walking out to his car.

But Dean didn’t let him talk more. “And!” Dean said loudly, still sounding upset, “I never told you, wanna know why?” his voice broke a little, “Cause you could never love me, I always thought, there’s my best friend, and he’s the best damn person out there, he wouldn’t want broken old me.” Dean was definitely crying now, his voice was thick with it. He was no doubt under the influence of a lot of alcohol to be saying all this.

And yet… Cas couldn’t help but feel like there was a sliver of hope. And he hated himself for thinking like that, but the way Dean was talking…

“I’m coming to get you, Dean,” Cas promised, starting up his car and pulling out of the driveway.

“Please, Cas,” Dean choked a little, and the noise reduced suddenly, as if he had gone outside. “I need you, Cas. I love you and I don’t want you to hate me and I know I’m not worth it but-”

Drunk or not, Cas cut him off. “You need to stop that right now, Dean,” he told his friend fiercely. “You are worth more than anything to me and I will not see you disrespecting your worth, you understand me?” _I love you too._ He almost said it, but he knew it would only hurt.

“Yeah,” Cas thought he heard Dean mumble.

Luckily, the place wasn’t very far from Cas’s house, and he had known where it was beforehand. So it was only a few minutes of drunken ramblings and a few more declarations of love later that Cas pulled up to find Dean laying on the top step of a house that appeared to be very full of a party.

When he pulled up and got out of the car, Dean struggled to stand, and staggered over to Cas as Cas came up to meet him.

“Cas!” he said, an odd, drunken mixture of happy and upset. There were still tear tracks on his face that glistened in the light from the streetlamp a few yards away, but a large giddy smile on his face at seeing Cas.

And before Cas could say anything, he was attack hugged by a very clingy Dean Winchester. He wrapped his arms around Cas, pinning his arms to his side and burying his face in Cas’s neck. He smelled a little like alcohol, but he still smelled like Dean. He was shaking slightly, and Cas felt wetness on his neck that must have been more tears.

Cas was a bit overwhelmed by all of this. He wasn’t sure what to do with the crying friend that was sagging against him. And the memories of Dean’s voice telling Cas he loved him still swam in Cas’s head, making him feel odd and confused. So all he did was lift his hands to hug Dean back, holding him close and burying his face in Dean’s hair as well, like he would never dare to do while Dean was sober. But like this, they could pretend.

Dean’s hands fisted in Cas’s coat, and he stood there crying and mumbling into Cas’s shoulder for a while.

“It’s okay Dean,” Cas whispered into Dean’s hair, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’ll always be here for you, you never have to lose me.”

He felt Dean’s chest heave a little with a big breath or sob, something, and Dean asked him quietly, “I can’t lose you Cas. But I want you, you know. Not just as a friend. I want to kiss you and hold your stupid hand and tell you that I love you every day. And I know I’m so drunk right now and I would never say this sober, but I don’t really give a shit at the moment and I couldn’t stop myself if I wanted to.” His words were a little slurred, and interrupted by drunk and crying hiccups. Cas rubbed his back and had to hold back tears of his own.

There was so much he wanted to say. _I love you too. I want all of that too. I want to spend every day of my life with you until we’re old and blind and deaf._ But he couldn’t say anything, because this was just drunk Dean, and he wouldn’t even remember this all, most likely. So he didn’t respond to anything Dean had said. He just swallowed it all down and said, “Come on, let’s get you in the car. I’ll take you to my house because I think you need some help right now. You have to let go though.”

“No,” Dean replied petulantly. “I will never ever let go of you, Cas. I don’t want to. You are warm and you smell good and I never want to let go.”

Cas couldn’t help but smile at the words, but he shuffled over to the passenger door with Dean still clinging to him and opened it. “Well that’s all nice to hear Dean. But you have to. It’s cold out here and you need to get some rest.” He yawned. “As do I.”

“No,” Dean said again, pressing his face into Cas’s collar bone, making the other boy shiver a little. Dean was warm and solid, his body pressed against Cas in a comforting sort of way. Cas didn’t want to push him away, but he had to.

Dean was drunk, and so it was easy to manhandle him into the seat. He flopped into the chair and grasped at Cas as Cas extricated himself, but he wasn’t fast enough and Cas got the door closed.

Dean curled up and cried on the way to Cas’s house.

“I don’t want to be alone anymore, I want to be with you,” Dean said, and Cas agreed silently.

He was clingy again getting into the house, and Cas eventually settled with walking into his house with Dean draped around him in a tight hug. He kept one hand on Dean’s back, guiding them along, and dumped Dean onto the guest bed before attempting to leave. But Dean was better about holding on that time, and pulled Cas down next to him with surprising strength.

“I want you to stay,” Dean said quietly, nuzzling into Cas’s back.

And Cas just couldn’t refuse. He was weak for this, and though every ounce of him told him he would regret this all later, he let himself be held down on the bed, spooned from the back by Dean.

They fell asleep like that, both exhausted, with the light on, laying on top of the covers fully clothed. Cas got up in the early hours of the morning in a zombie like state, turned off the light, and fell back into bed, barely registering that he was enveloped by a set of warm arms as soon as he was back on the bed.

 

 

Dean woke with a massive headache and a strange feeling on him. He felt heavy, not like normal hangover heavy, but really weighed down. And he was too warm and too cold at the same time. The sheets felt wrong and he slowly realized there was a breath of another person tickling his neck. He sighed internally. He must have gone home with someone random that night. He hated when he did that, at least after, and was not looking forward to getting up. And it was always to forget about…

But when he opened his eyes, he froze. That was not some random dude or chick that was laying on his arm and snoring softly into his chest. It was Cas.

Dean looked down frantically. They were both clothed, thank god. He would have hated himself forever for ruining what he had with Cas while drunk and not remembering it. He cared about Cas too much, and drunk would be the worst possible way he could imagine them getting together for the first time. No, he would rather Cas never knew about his feelings than them hooking up drunk.

Though there was the problem of them being in bed together still, even if they were fully clothed. And in Cas’s guest bedroom from the looks of what he could see from the morning light coming in from the window. He wiggled a little, and groaned as a wave of pain came over his head. He really needed to never get this hung over again. But he had been wallowing about Cas last night, he was pretty sure. And of course that resulted in black out drunkenness most of the time.

The groan made Cas stir, and Dean froze again. But it was too late, and soon Cas was blinking awake. He seemed to go through the same round of shock Dean had, though for him, there was recognition afterwards for him. Dean wished that he remembered what had happened.

"Hey Cas," he said with a weak grin. "Good morning." The normalcy of it hurt a little and Dean wished they could always be that way, waking up together with little smiles and good mornings. But he pushed the thought away, it was only making his head hurt more.

Cas blinked up at him and Dean watched him swallow hard. Then, unexpectedly, Cas pushed away and got up. He couldn't do this, Cas thought. He couldn't lay there with Dean smiling up at him like everything was all normal and okay. He couldn't forget what Dean had said to him last night.

"Cas?" Dean asked, sitting up on the bed to stare at Cas with confusion. Of course he was confused. He didn't remember anything. Cas looked down at his feet, resisting the bitter feelings. What else had he expected?

Dean got up. "Hey Cas, I don't know what's up but I want to help." He had a funny feeling about everything.

Cas looked up to see Dean wincing, probably at a headache from his hangover.

Dean got a look over his face, and a vague feeling of recognition. "What did I do last night?"

Cas didn't want to answer him, there was no way...

Dean stepped up right into Cas's personal space, and Cas could feel his breath on his face. He looked up at Dean, barely daring to breathe himself.

"You said-" Cas swallowed and took a chance. His heart beat too fast, and he could hear the blood rushing in his ears, but he said it anyways. "You told me you loved me. You were very drunk, I know you probably didn't mean it and I'm sorry if I-"

He felt his voice choking up and his eyes filling with tears, and he stopped talking in surprise as Dean pulled him into a hug. It was like a reverse of the previous night, with Cas shaking and crying and a confused Dean hanging on like life depended on it. Maybe it did.

"Don't ever think I didn't mean it, Cas" Dean whispered, and Cas felt his breath catch.

"You- you-" he couldn't finish the sentence.

"I love you Cas." Dean said against Cas's hair.

"I love you too." It was barely more than a whisper, but Dean heard it, and he held Cas even tighter. He was never going to let go.


End file.
